Cancer, Clarity, and Why I Coach the Way I Do

In March, I noticed a dry spot in my throat. By May, I had a diagnosis — aggressive HPV-related tonsil cancer. By May 14th, it was a marble-sized tumor. By June 18th, I was in surgery.

A 4.5-hour radical neck dissection. The tumor had grown to 4 centimeters. They removed 39 lymph nodes.

HPV-related throat cancer is now the most common HPV-related cancer in the U.S. It primarily affects men in their 50s and 60s, usually non-smokers.*

I Had to Push

The math was simple. This type moves fast. If I’d waited for the system to figure it out, the outcome would have been different.

A dear friend — an NP — was the first person to say, “You need to get that looked at.” She also called the ENT surgery office to ask how I could be seen. I walked in that same day. I advocated for and left with a consult appointment.

I did the same thing with my CT scan. I walked in, got pre-authorized, and walked out with a scan appointment the next day. From pre-diagnosis to CT scan — three days.

I didn’t wait. I asked questions. I pushed for actionable information and to understand what measurable progress looked like. I made myself heard until someone moved.

Not because I’m difficult. Because I knew something was off — and I wasn’t going to wait for permission to act on it.

Once I had the diagnosis, I did what I know how to do.

My doctor was excellent, and answered my questions and set realistic-and sobering-expectations. It helped me understand exactly where I was, what was going to happen (surgically), what to expect (recovery), and the physical and mental state that led to the best possible outcomes. Targets were now becoming visible.

Building My Plan

But it still wasn’t a plan. So, I built one.

I researched everything. I applied the same rigorous, data-driven approach I used in medical device sales — only this time, I was the client and the customer.

I created custom mantras — for day, night, walking, and exercise. Visualizations. Micro-goals I could track. Structured fitness routines that pushed my cardiovascular limits.

The importance of staying hydrated is one example of how I coached myself.

My doctor was clear — patients who stayed well-hydrated recovered faster. So I treated water like a lever. More water meant less recovery time.

When I didn’t want to get off the couch to drink another glass, I asked myself one question:

What’s the cost of this inaction on my recovery?

This isn't just a brain-hack, it's behavioral economics in action — a concept I borrowed from Dr. Anna Lembke’s work in Dopamine Nation. Not willpower. Logic I could act on. Grounded in research and neuroscience.

I Didn’t Do It Alone

Here’s the part most people miss.

That same NP saw something early that the system almost missed.

My wife, Jennifer, researched PT options when no one offered a referral — and found a provider who had personally overcome right-sided paralysis.

Lymphatic massage was mentioned and briefly demonstrated, but nothing sustained was offered. I found a certified lymphatic massage specialist myself.

When the system had gaps, the people in my orbit filled them — or pushed me until I did.

Self-advocacy matters. So does having people around you who see what you can’t.

That’s Exactly How I Coach

Before we even begin, there’s a focused discovery phase.

Then we build a plan that fits you. Execute. Measure. Adapt. Repeat.

That’s what I did for myself. That’s what I do with clients.

Moving Forward

Six months out, I’m cancer free.

If you’re in a hard chapter — career, leadership, something personal — I’ll say this:

You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. It takes self reflection and courage to get here.

What and how you choose to move forward matters.

John Carnes

*Source: MD Anderson Cancer Center — What Men Need to Know About HPV-Related Throat Cancer