Procrastination: The First Step Toward Regret (and How to Finally Break Free)
- johnvcarnes
- Jan 13
- 4 min read
A few days ago, I shared a post titled "Welcome to 2025: Will Regret Follow You This Year?"
I realize that post may have hit hard. And that’s a typical human response to a hard truth.
When we’re confronted with the gap between what we say we want and what we’re actually doing to get it, it’s uncomfortable. Self-awareness without action is the most frustrating place to be.
Now, let me offer a more humorous—but equally honest—perspective on why we so often stop short of the very things we claim to want-based on a Ted Talk with over 55 million views (link at end).
You’re not lazy, you’re just human and we’ve all been there. Does this sound familiar:
You set goals. You make promises to yourself:
• “I’m finally going to leave this job I hate.”
• “I’m going to speak up more and be confident.”
• “This is the year I start that business.”
• “I’ll stop scrolling and focus on my health.”
• “I need to reconnect with my partner or fix this relationship.”
And then… nothing. Not because you’re lazy. Not because you’re incapable.
But because following through on the promises you make to yourself is HARD.
It’s easy to show up for others because there’s accountability (another reason people seek coaching). But when it’s just you, alone with your thoughts and goals, it’s easier to negotiate yourself out of action.
And that’s not a character flaw. It’s human nature.
Self-Awareness Without Action:
Here’s the problem: Once you become aware of what’s not working in your life, you can’t unsee it.
That’s why it’s so painful to want something and not act on it. This is the awkward stage where you KNOW change needs to happen, but you’re stuck. And this is where most people give up.
Regret doesn’t come from failing. It comes from never starting.
Why We Get Stuck (and Stay Stuck)
Let me introduce you to the real culprits(per Tim Urbans Ted Talk)):
1. The Rational Decision-Maker – Wants you to progress. Makes solid plans. Schedules things.
2. The Instant Gratification Monkey – Loves snacks, scrolling, Netflix, and avoiding anything uncomfortable.
3. The Panic Monster – Only shows up when the deadline is NOW.
The Monkey is a master negotiator. It convinces you to delay, avoid, and "start tomorrow."
But when there’s no deadline—like building confidence, changing careers, fixing relationships—the Panic Monster stays asleep, and the Monkey throws a party.
Still not convinced this is a universal struggle?
Consider this: Tim Urban’s TED Talk, “Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator,” has been viewed over 55 million times.
Fifty. Five. Million. If you need more proof that procrastination is a human condition, well… I rest my case.
The Real Cost of Waiting:
• That career change? You’ll still dread Mondays-in fact it's likely this feeling starts on Sunday.
• Building confidence? You’ll still stay quiet when you should speak up.
• Starting that business? Someone else will.
• That conversation you need to have with your partner? The distance between you will only grow.
• Friendships you’ve neglected? They’ll fade away, and the door might close for good.
• The chance to meet someone new? Gone, because you stayed home again, or worse, didn’t approach that inviting, smiling stranger-the one who initiated contact.
But here’s the real cost and pain:
Breaking promises to yourself is more painful than failing. You know the moment I’m talking about: when you realize you didn’t follow through.
When you feel that sting of regret—not because you tried and failed, but because you never tried at all, and that pain lingers and it can fester.
So, What’s the Fix? I’ll tell you what it’s not:
It’s not about working harder. It’s not about finding more time.
It’s about accountability.
The same way we show up for others, we need systems that make us show up for ourselves.
That’s why coaching exists. Not to hand you a magic formula, but to hold up a mirror and say, “You promised yourself this. Let’s make it happen.”
Funny, but True: Here’s a perfect example of how common this is:
On Bark (a platform where people search for coaches like me), thousands of people search for help. They take the time to create profiles and list out exactly what they want to change in their lives, adding detailed notes about what is missing and what they desire. They hit the submit button and request help.
And then? Crickets.
They ghost. Disappear. Ignore free offers to talk about their goals.
This isn’t a Bark problem. It’s a human problem.
We start. We stop. We stall.
The truth is, most people quit long before they actually try.
No Shame. Just Action.
This isn’t about guilt. It’s about being honest with yourself.
I’m a coach. I help people set goals—and crush them. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll move on to the next person who’s ready.
But what about you? Will you let hesitation define another year, or will you take the next step?
Your Move:
1. Click here → https://www.sprkcoaching.com/book-online
2. Show up. Let’s talk about your goals.
3. Actually start moving forward.
No pressure. No sales pitch. Just a real conversation.
Still Not Sure? As promised, here is the link to Tim Urbans talk.
Go watch Tim Urban’s TED Talk, “Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator.” Laugh. Relate. And realize you’re stuck because you let the Monkey win.
About Me
I’m a professional coach dedicated to helping individuals break through barriers and achieve meaningful growth in their personal and professional lives. Insights and breakthroughs are all around us—we just have to look to see them.
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